Week 15 Learning Challenge: The power of vulnerability

Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability

This week, I have been trying to incorporate the lessons in this TED talk into my thought processes and actions. I have a lot of trouble with the topics and habits she addresses, so this has been a real eye-opener for me and something I have been working very hard to begin to internalize.

Week 14 Learning Challenge: Mindfulness

This week I read a really interesting NPR article based on an interview with a researcher discussing the benefits of mindfulness and demonstrating an exercise to increase mindfulness. It reminded me a lot of the little bits of meditation I've dabbled in. In fact, it was just similar enough to remind me that I really, really need to take this lesson to heart! 
Everything the researcher was describing as a symptom of low mindfulness -- constant feelings of rushing around, being stressed mind racing, lack of appreciation for the moment one is living in -- we're extremely familiar to me. He discusses how these feelings in people with low mindfulness act as a constant stimulus to the amygdala, which triggers the fight-or-flight response. Basically, my stress and inability to handle it has tricked my brain into constantly feeling like I'm being chased by a tiger. Whoops.
I was also really interested by the idea of performing the mindfulness activity with children. I know from talking with my students that their school experience is different from mine and the generations before me in that the stakes feel infinitely higher -- constant standardized testing, pressure to exceed not only in academics but a plethora of extracurricular activities, and the various home problems my students face. I'm not convinced some of my younger, wigglier classes could handle a minute of mindfulness, but I'm very tempted to try this with some of my older students. 

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Week 13 Learn by HEART Challenge: Buddhist Teachings on Happiness

This week I read an article that shares 10 lessons Buddhist philosophy has to teach us about happiness. I usually do empathy growth mindset, but as the end of the semester nears, and I've gotten more in touch with my (hilariously abysmal) emotional health these past few weeks, I thought this might be more relevant to my current needs.
I've always been very interested in Buddhism; I've been a vegetarian for 9 years, and always a big believer in pacifism and peace, so a lot about this philosophy appeals to me. I thought this article did a great job summing of some of the major points of Buddhism in small, easily understandable and applicable bits of wisdom.
In particular, I felt drawn to points 2 (I often have to remind myself that my worth as a human is not determined by my GPA), 6 (I am often bogged down by negative emotions), and 7 (stressing about the future won't help me in the present!).

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Learning Challenge: Empathy with Shining Eyes

My favorite YouTube video of all time is a Ted Talk given by Benjamin Zander entitled, "The Transformative Power of Classical Music." In it, he discusses the idea that all people can love classical music, most of them have just never had the opportunity to.

It's about 20 minutes long, and it changed my life. 

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If you have time, I highly recommend watching the video in its entirety, even (especially!) if you don't think you like classical music. Zander touches on so many facets of life, I think you'll find it worth the time investment.

The part relevant to my Learning Challenge, however, starts at around 16 minutes in. For context, he's just discussed a bit of the theory behind a Chopin Prelude -- why Chopin chose the notes and chords he did, and how it ultimately creates both a mood and a story. He then instructs the audience to listen to the Prelude with this new context, but also with one added caveat: that they picture someone very dear to them who has been lost.

The story he tells around the 16 minute mark is about a boy who participated in this same exercise shortly after the death of his brother, for whom he had never properly mourned, and how the power of the music allowed him to embrace those emotions for the first time.

This idea of truly feeling music as a listener, or embodying the feeling as a performer, and both experiencing and inspiring the sensation of "shining eyes" reminds me of why I love music, and how it relates to the concept of a shared human empathy. Even though we all have different stories, music unites us.

Here's a link to a transcript of the entire Ted Talk for those without audio capabilities. 

Also source of the following image.

Learning Challenge: Post Secret

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I think this particular postcard really connected with the theme of empathy. It's so common for us to assume that those sad stories of people in tragic circumstances could never happen to anyone we know, and definitely not to us. It's uncomfortable to think about the hardships our peers may have experienced, especially when they're someone we have a distaste for. However, this postcard perfectly demonstrates Frank Warren's words: "Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart." I try to remember this when I deal with difficult students, but I think I can do a better job of applying it to every single person I meet and interact with.

Learning Challenges: Embracing Empathy

In the past year, I've undergone a huge transformation in the way I view the world and interact with its inhabitants. It began when I realized that I wanted to work with inner city kids, which itself came about because of my interest in social justice and desire to combat inequality in our school system. At that time, I knew that the way our society treats impoverished and minority students -- expecting them to bootstrap their way to success given very little if any of the same resources as their affluent peers, and then punishing them for the rest of their lives for failing under impossible odds -- was morally incorrect. I knew I wanted to do what I could to help. 
So when I started my job at El Sistema, which specifically targets at-risk children, I came in with the expectation that it wasn't going to be an easy job. And it absolutely isn't! My students can be really difficult to work with -- they are capable of unbelievable cruelty, directed toward each other and their teachers. But I knew that in order to help my students (and to maintain my own sanity), I needed to try to understand why they acted that way.
Every time a student acts out, or is disrespectful, or seems reluctant to participate, my first reaction has to be questioning the reason for such behavior. I find that it's almost always a combination of factors, usually related to their home lives, their other teachers, or their own insecurities. A lot of these things are outside of my direct sphere of influence, so I can't usually address the source problem, but simply taking the time to understand and legitimize a child's concerns -- letting them know that it's okay to feel upset, or frustrated, or scared -- helps them not only acknowledge these feelings, but also identify productive ways of dealing with them. Luckily, I teach a subject perfectly equipped for emotional expression!

The idea of the learning challenge comes in when I'm not at El Sistema. My students can be pains, but it's super easy to empathize with them; partially, because they're adorable, hilarious little goobers, and partially because I have insight into their backgrounds and the factors that influence their behavior. 
However, I've noticed in this last semester that my teacher thought processes (why are they acting that way? what is influencing their behavior right now? how can I help both of us understand?) have started creeping into my home and school lives. When a classmate is acting immaturely, for example, or my roommate does something frustrating, I find my brain going through the same routine, asking those questions I so often ask myself about my students. It honestly feels like a habit that I've developed and now perform unintentionally.
Even though this process seems so simple and intuitive, I'm embarrassed to say that it's been quite a change for me! I'm realizing that I used to be a very un-empathetic person. I thought I was just holding people accountable for their behavior, so in turn I acted judgmentally and impatiently. I'm also a naturally analytical problem-solver, so I preferred giving out advice and "silver linings," as Brené Brown puts it, instead of providing the connection people actually seek. Although it should have been obvious, I've slowly learned that legitimizing feelings is just as helpful to adults as it is to my students!
Once I recognized the change in my thought process, I knew that this needed to be a permanent change. It's been a huge internal battle, erasing old bad habits and embracing newer, healthier ones. This semester, I'm really hopeful that participating in the Empathy learning challenges can help reinforce my new and improved way of life!

"This will be our reply to violence: to make music more intensely, more beautifully, more devotedly than ever before." 

Leonard Bernstein

I like to share this quote with my students when they feel as though they have no outlet for their emotions, to remind them that this very struggle is the reason why music is worth doing.

Photograph by Jack Mitchell. Found on Wikimedia. Licensed under Creative Commons.