Thoughts About Comments

There are two main things I appreciate most in good blog comments.
First is specificity: the more precise someone is when they leave me comments, the more I feel I can learn from them! Comments that just say a story was "good" or that I'm a "good writer" are encouraging, and I definitely enjoy reading them (who doesn't love flattery?), but they don't really help me grow as a writer.
Second, I love when someone comments on my specific adaptive choices. When they relate my story back to details from the original text or notice decisions I made to adapt original elements to my own story, it gives me an idea of how I can approach these assignments in future weeks.

Week 5 Storytelling: The Brief Afterlife of Amba

Author's note: My heart broke for Amba when I read her story. I loved her complexity: strong but fragile, unstoppable but fundamentally broken. I also enjoyed the depiction of Ganga's time on earth, and thought that an interaction between these two similar but opposite women might be interesting. 

In the original story, Ganga is the mother of Bhishma, who takes an oath to never take the throne. Instead, he wins by abduction three princesses to wed the eventual king, but releases the eldest, Amba, when she confesses that she in in love with another king. Her lover is embarrassed by his defeat, however, and turns her away. Amba then lives in a hermitage, where she prays so devotedly Shiva appears and grants her a wish; by this time, she has come to blame Bhishma for her misfortune, so she asks for his destruction. Shiva says that she will be reincarnated as a warrior who will destroy Bhishma, and Amba is so impatient for this she immediately throws herself on a funeral pyre.

The instrument mentioned, the jal tarang, is an ancient Indian percussion instrument made from various ceramic bowls filled with water. I thought its droplet-like timbre and associations with water were beautiful and perfect for this context. Link to a short video which features the instrument.

The Ganges River in Varanasi. Source

Amba faded from the earth, flames consuming her vision and her own voice ringing in her ears, echoing into infinity: "I do this for the destruction of Bhishma! To obtain a new body for the destruction of Bhishma do I enter this fire! I do this for the destruction of Bhishma! To obtain a new body for the destruction of Bhishma...!"

Then all was black. The echo rang on, but muffled, as if through a heavy curtain -- "...do I enter this fire! I do this for the destruction..."

All that existed was the distorted voice. Amba felt nothing, saw nothing, had no sense even of her own body; she occupied no space in the blackness, or maybe she was the blackness itself; as her mind turned itself inside-out in search of orientation, she decided that she must be either an expansive abyss or a minuscule singularity. The fury that had fueled her soul for so long faded in an instant; her soul mirrored her surroundings, black and empty and unforgivingly numb. 

"...of Bhishma! To obtain a new body for the destruction of Bhishma do I enter..."

The voice became more muffled, and a fuzzy distortion rounded out its shrill edges. Each syllable became lightly disjointed from the next until their tones were more jal tarang than voice; at the same time, the distortion unfocused into a soothing hush sound, whispering into Amba's ear, or perhaps emanating from Amba herself. 

Finally, the sounds refocused, but Amba no longer recognized her own voice; instead she heard water, coursing and trickling, lapping in waves at a non-existent shore. Her existence felt wet but murky, so she was unsure whether she was in water or had become it. 

Finally, the blackness turned blue, and Amba heard a voice that sent ripples from the water into Amba's soul and out again. 

"Brave, foolish child."

Amba tried to call out to the voice, but no words formed, only bubbles, rising up through infinite water. 

"Poor Amba. Unfortunate girl."

In the blue, Amba thought for a moment that she saw floating in the water an enormous orb, which became an eye, then two, then water once more. 

"Such courage. Passion. Pain."

Pain, Amba thought. Pain?

"Pain enkindling wrath. Bravery. Foolishness. Poor Amba." 

Pain. Pain. Pain. 

The water began moving around her, as though agitated by sharp winds. Memories crept into Amba's consciousness like a thick fog. Blackness. Flames. Her own voice. 

"...this fire! I do this for the destruction of..."

"Your resolve is admirable, unfortunate girl, but I fear you have misapplied it."

More memories: Shalwa, her love. Her love's face. Her love's face as he turned her away. His scorn. His disgust. The pain. Another face. The water was turbulently heaving now, this way and that. 

"My son was only trying to help."

The face. The flames. Her wrath. Her pain. 

The water was roiling violently, and suddenly hot, burning Amba's entire being, scalding her body and her spirit with white-hot tides, crashing into her from every direction. 

"I pray you find peace, child."

And then blue became white, and water became fire became earth, and Amba existed once more.

Bibliography: Myths of the Hindus and Buddhists by Sister Nivedita (1914). Found in PDE Mahabharata.

Reading Diary Week 5 PDE Mahabharata (B)

Ekalavya: wants Drona to train him in archery, but Drona says no because he is a Bhil (aboriginal, outside of caste system, "highwaymen and cattle-lifters" "It would be akin to impart unto one of them great knowledge in the use of weapons."
      Ekalvya is heart-broken, resolves to become a warrior anyway; makes a clay statue of Drona, worships it and practices until he is a famous archer
     Drona and princes go hunting in Bhil kingdom, Ekalvya tells them he is "a pupil of Drona", kisses his feet; Drona says Ekalvya owes him a reward, Ek offers "whatsoever thou dost desire", Drona asks for his right thumb, Ek cheerfully cuts it off and gives it to him
     After, had to draw bow with middle fingers, but "lost his surpassing skill"

Story ideas: Ekalvya hears that Drona is coming, prepares to meet his idol; after incident, faced with statue and regret

Ekalvya offers Drona his thumb (Source)

Karna: son of young Kunti and sun god; enters contest against Arjuna, who is angry at having been matched

Duryodhana, jealous of Arjuna, makes Karna a king

Kara's adopted father appears, Bhima mocks Karna for his assumed lineage

"Karna grew pale with wrath; his lips quivered, but he answered not a word. He heaved a deep sigh and looked towards the sun."

Story idea: Kunti watching her two sons, the only one who knows that they are brothers; or, Yuhishthira, the scholarly eldest brother, sees his mother's reaction and suspects she knows something

Week 5 Reading Diary PDE Mahabharata

Vyasa: sage who wrote the Mahabharata. Grandmother is a fish. Searched for someone to tell his stories to, but realized no human could handle all the important details, so settled for a god (Ganesha, elephant head)

*Ganga: takes human form to raise 8 temporarily-mortal gods; 
strong-willed and consistently ensuring her own interests are served: "made each of the Vasus promise to confer an eighth part of his power on her son"; "she must needs at once depart from [King Shantanu] if he spoke harshly to her at any time or attempted to thwart her in doing as she willed" (negotiating with a king!)
Doesn't tell King about deal with Vasus, so he freaks out when she drowns 8 babies in a row; she leaves, but comes back long enough to bring the King his son, who has the power of Vasus

Devavrata AKA Bhishma: son of Ganga; has to promise not to take the throne so his dad can marry Vyasa's mom, Satyavati. Satyavati son #1 dies in battle pretty quickly. Satyavati son #2 is young, so Bhishma rules in regent. Has to find SS2 a wife, so he wins 3 princesses in a battle contest. 

*Amba: Oldest princess, already in love with another king, who ends up being terrible. Blames Bhishma. Lives in a hermitage and fasts/prays until Shiva responds and says she will be reincarnated as a mighty warrior who will slay Bhishma. 
"Beauty and charm became nothing in her eyes. Her hair became matted and she grew thinner and thinner. For hours and days she would stand in stillness and silence as if she had been made of stone." Kills herself on funeral pyre: "as she took her place upon the throne of flame she said over and over again, 'I do this for the destruction of Bhishma! To obtain a new body for the destruction of Bhishma do I enter this fire!'"

Amba as a shadow puppet, from PDE Mahabharata blog; CC

Story ideas: 

Parallels in Ganga's and Amba's stories. Both are strong-willed women who go to great lengths to attain their desires. One gets what she wants, and one doesn't. One operates for her own well-being, the other lets bitterness consume her.